Ever since watching Louis CK’s bit about Cinnabon (see here), I’ve found it all but impossible to guiltlessly order a cinnamon roll, so I saw it as quite a windfall when I first picked up a pint of Cinnamon Buns at my local Ben & Jerry’s shop. Alongside Peanut Butter Cup, it has become my go-to Ben & Jerry’s flavor. And so on a recent grocery haul at Kroger, I didn’t think twice when I saw it sitting on the shelf.
Unfortunately, I would soon learn that I got a dud. The cinnamon streusel swirl that in the past mirrored the inner walls of a cinnamon roll was nonexistent, and most disappointingly, the cinnamon bun dough pieces had clearly ventured well past their sell-by date; instead of boasting their normally chewy, cookie dough-like texture, they were uniformly stale, crumbling as I bit into them. As Kobe Bryant once poetically explained, “These motherfuckers ain’t doing shit for me.”
Pr(Buy Again): high, so long as it’s not from Kroger